Mother's Day, With a Twist

There were two things I said I'd never do when I started this a while ago...first, no writing anything about work and second,  that I wouldn't write things like this--a blog about Mothers on Mother's Day or Fathers on Father's Day.  You know, the ones that seem to cheesily overpopulate the blogosphere in May and June.  But here I am, breaking one of my two rules....oh, well.

I started thinking about this today because I was told that my daughter couldn't finish her 'state sponsored' Mother's Day card at school because, in her words, she had developed 'writers block'.  And, that because of this she had to miss recess!  She was not happy...and somehow this had turned into my fault.  Great---I broke my rule because my daughter was pissy at me because I wasn't interesting enough to write about for a 7-year old.  What's next...a gallon of JeanNate Body Splash and Bonnie Bell Lip Smacker from the Walgreens up on the corner?  Happy Mother's Day!  (Seriously, would love the Lip Smacker...never developed a liking for JeanNate, so matter how many gallons we bought my Mom....)

But the thing I focused on was the writer's block...not that I didn't understand it.  I did, I do..completely.  I write a lot for work (Shit!  I'm now two for two) and for pleasure and I get the mocking silence that comes with the blank page.  I asked my daughter about it at dinner and she said that it was not only too noisy in her classroom, but that she didn't think she had the right words in her brain to say what she wanted to say.  She slays me.  She also made me think of my own mother, and her mother, my grandmother and how we pass down both the good and the bad to our children.

My mother is scary smart--not that you'd know it.  She has the art of self-deprication down to an art.  I have that same trait.  We employ it the same way--usually when we are being recognized for something and totally ruining whatever people are trying to say.  My daughter and my grandmother?  The exact opposite.  My daughter owns her greatness, as did my Grandmother...both to the nth degree.  Big, bold personalities with brains and confidence and charisma, oh my!

However, when it comes to writing the gene pool did some rearranging. I get my chops from my Grandmother for whom I'm named...we both love/loved writing and put pen to paper (or in my case, fingertips to keys) often for both work and pleasure.  We find/found joy from having these ideas and words in our heads and the process getting them down in the right order, with the right tempo...and to have it feel the same way on paper as it did in our heads.

With my mother and my daughter though, they fear the words themselves, or rather their perceived lack of them. One will email me a letter she is writing on behalf of someone--usually a high schooler she is helping, with the plea to help her get the words right.  I read it and it's honest and simple and perfect in it's straightforwardness.  The same thing happens with my daughter when she is trying to get her thoughts down on paper..neither of them wastes time and paper with a lot of useless adjectives and the idea they are trying to get across is much cleaner and more powerful because of it. But because they fear the simplicity of simple words they lack the confidence and joy found in words and writing. Silly wabbits!

There are many more ways the three of us are intertwined with characteristics and mannerisms popping up in the oddest combinations...not to mention our penchant for hair dye...but that's for another day.

But in celebration of my Grandmother, the incomparable ball-buster Lorene; my Mother, the stunning and stunningly strong Karen; and my daughter, the unbearable lightness of  Monkey, and for our love/hate relationship with words and writing, a list of words on or about Mothers and Motherhood...Not the definitive list, sadly lacking in international titles and in no particular order and NO self-help books allowed.  Also, I tried to list the ones that aren't that well known, or you might not think of right off the bat, with the exception of anything by Amy Tan because of course, she gets it.

The Bonesetters Daughter or the Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan

Breath, Eyes, Memory, Edwidge Danticat

Mary's World, Richard N. Cote

Victoria's Daughters, Jerrold Packard

The Fifth Child, Doris Lessing

Ladder of Years, Anne Tyler

Operating Instructions,  Anne Lamott

Paula, Isabel Allende

Girlwood by Claire Dean

Vengeance is Mine, Brandy Purdy

A Mountain of Crumbs, Elena Gorokhova

Ramona and Her Mother, Beverly Cleary

Dumbo (Duh!)

Getting a Life, Helen Simpson

Why Did I Ever, Mary Robison

Choke, Darnella Ford

The Yellow Wallpaper, Charlotte Perkins Gillman

Troubling Love, Elena Ferrante

Movies: Mildred Pierce, Mask, Terms of Endearment, Mother Goose (yes, I mean that one)