I Will Never Laugh Again!

This, of course, is coming from our son who until recently was the nicest, laughing-est kid around.  His laugh is infectious and goofy and you can't help but smile back at him.

Until recently. 

I've mentioned this before, but it bears mentioning again:  10-year olds can be moody little so-and-so's.  This morning's incident was because he couldn't find 'the most important game in the world' for his Nintendo DS, so he was stuck playing something "boring and worthless" when he was 'powned' in my office for a couple hours while his sister was at the dentist with Dad.

Of course, I'm like, "Dude!  Read...you have the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy there...one of the funniest books around."

And of course, he's like, "I haven't laughed yet and I won't...not even inside."

And of course, I'm like, "Whaaaaaa!  What do you mean you haven't laughed....hello?  42?  Doesn't that get a giggle?  What about the whole conversation between Arthur and Ford about the monkey's doing Hamlet?"

He just stared at me. Reminded me of the time we took him to Chinatown for "chickenfeet and squid"...there was a joke that really backfired on us.

So, instead of torturing him some more, I set about jotting down the books that make me laugh, outloud and at length.  A few of these books I've mentioned before, but they're worth repeating. 

So, in no particular order:

Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving:  My friend Christy Gardner and I read and re-read this in the halls of Butte Falls High School, sitting and laughing hysterically.

The Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy O'Toole.  All I can say is, 'the hot dog scene'.

One for the Money (and the rest) by Janet Evanovich.  Stephanie and her pals crack me up! 

Lamb.  The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal.  by Christopher Moore.  I laugh because I can go to Confession and make it all good again.

The Wrong Venus by Charles Williams.  Best noir about Americans in France, bodice-ripper genre and kidnappers.  Don't ask, just get it, read and laugh your ass off.

P.S. Your Cat is Dead.  by James Kirkwood.  I don't know how this got into my parents bookshelf, but it did and I would read it in secret...hard to do when everybody can hear you laugh.

Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins.  There are three lines that get me every damn time.  First, "They're no threat to me.  I have a black belt in Haiku.  And a black vest at the cleaners."  Second, "Sharks are the criminals of the sea.  Dolphins are the outlaws." And last but not least (and I'll mis-remember this one)..."She lunched on Papaya Poo Poo or Mango Mu Mu or some other fruity thing with overripe tropican vowels."  Classic!

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.  Duh!

A Porcine History of Philosophy and Religion by James Taylor.  This was at a friends house when I was growing up.  I had no clue who Kierkegaard was at age 12, but there was something about these drawings of pigs that made me giggle.

I could go on and on...from Rivethead to Catch-22.  And Bill Bryson to Nick Hornby.  But these books above are the ones that I remember laughing with and can look forward to laughing with again someday. Hopefully my son will be there with me on some of them...once he decides to allow laughter back into his life of course.

A Burgeoning Interest in Boobs, My New Motto, and a Book List for When Life Pushes You Hard.

Ugh...what a week.  Up and down, across and sideways, back and forth.  And a nasty cough to boot. There are just times when life pushes you along and you have to let it.  Don't waste physical or emotional energy trying to push back...just go with the flow, so to speak.

I say this knowing that while there are a few times a year I let this happen, I'm not good at feeling okay about it.  I usually get to the end of the week and feel a lot of guilt---how I should have tried harder.  How I could have changed things. blah, blah, blah.  Guilt...jeesh...I'm a Catholic married to a Jew...the guilt is built in at this point.

So, it is at these times that I look to two things that get me out of my head--my kids and a certain group of books.

So here is the first thing I realized this week about my kids, or one of them, that knocked me for a loop and out of my head.  My 10-year old son is really starting to notice, well, I'll use a less than "PC" term, "stacked women".  I guess there is a mom at school who has been favored with large and perky ones, and who only dresses in little tank-tops (don't know her, but hate her).  Our son, according to my husband, is constantly scoping her out with these little side looks, while trying not to walk into the flag pole and such.  So once forewarned, I too started noticing and boy howdy!  After seeing him do this to a young runner in the neighborhood, I mention it as subtly as I'm able--while laughing--and while he does get appropriately embarassed, I also see that the embarrasment of being caught ogling doesn't completely wipe away the curiosity that compels him.  OMG...the boy is growing up.  We did however, have a talk about respect and women and bodies that mostly was about making me feel better, but hopefully the right bits will get through to his little pre-adolescent brain.

I have a new motto for life, courtesy of my 7-year old daughter.  We were walking, holding hands, into dinner and she looks up at me and says, as serious as she can be, "I wish it was the future."  I, of course, ask why, and she replies, "Because in the future, I'm awesome."    Yes you will be, mon sweet petite.  But now I have this new motto, perfect for those weeks when absolutely nothing goes according to plan...."In the future, I'm awesome."  No doubt less awesome than her, but still...it's a worthy goal.

Tonight though, I will go home to a house full of kids--both are having sleepovers--and when they are fully ensconced in a movie, I will have a glass of wine and pick from this group of books. Because they make me laugh, cry, think and sometimes all three.  Whatever, they take me out of my own head...and that's a good thing.

The Hotel New Hampshire, John Irving

Cod, Fish That Changed the World, Mark Kurlansky

Anything by Lisa Kleypass because I love a good lusty, funny romance

Water for Elephants, Sara Gruen

Push Not the River, James Conroyd Martin

Rivethead, Ben Hamper

Geek Love, Katherine Dunn

A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole

And, if it's a really, really, really bad day.

The Truth About Chuck Norris:  400 Facts about the Worlds Greatest Human, Ian Spector

What a Way to Go: The Guillotine, the Pendulum, the Thousand Cuts, the Spanish Donkey, and 66 Other Ways of Putting Someone to Death, Geoffrey Abbott

And, if it's a really, really, really, really, really bad day...Movies:

In Search of the Holy Grail, Anchorman, the dinner scene in Talladega Nights, Airplane, Reno 911 The Movie, Office Space, Support Your Local Sheriff, any of the Bourne movies, the first and second Mummy movies and finally, Oh Brother, Where Art Thou