Guest Post by Luke Sullivan: Never Shop At A Book Store When You Are Stupid

NOTE:  I am lucky enough work with Luke, so I get to read his stuff all of the time.  I thought this was a nice partner to my previous post, so I asked him if I could publish it on my blog and he graciously agreed.  Luke is the author of "Hey Whipple, Squeeze This", his take on creating great advertising.  



You’ve probably heard that saying: “Never go grocery shopping when you’re hungry.” Well, it makes sense. You end up buyin’ all kinds of junk food that looks yummy, or buyin’ way more than you planned on.

Which reminds me of that time I went to a liquor store sober.

Dude. Big mistake. (“Awww, man, gotta get me some of this vodka. And this gin. Get some gin. Ooooo, tequila, get that.”)

 Well, wouldn’t you know it, just the other day I walked into Book People here in Austin…. and I walked in stupid. Because there is so much that I don’t know, well, suddenly I’m reachin’ for every stinkin’ book on the shelves.

(“Gotta get me the new Franzen book. Oh, man, and lookit this new Blackwell title, ‘Outliers.’ He’s so smart, gotta git that.”)
Man oh man, I nearly flattened the embossed numbers on my Mastercard.

You know what might cure me of this book problem?

The new Kindle. Reason I say that is because the ads say the new Kindle can store 3,500 titles. Three thousand five hundred titles?

Here’s the thing. I’m a pretty fast reader. On vacation, I’ve been known to put away a book a day. But even at my best, … 3,500 titles? Polishing off that digital bookshelf would take nine and a half years of constant speed reading. Even Evelyn Wood, the speed-reading queen herself, man, at around book #1,954 … wouldn’t she just blow up?

Do I really need to carry 3,500 books on vacation? A guy named Barry Schwarz wrote a cool book called The Paradox of Choice. His main thesis: “We assume that more choice means greater satisfaction when it fact it means less.” He posits that a massive number of things to choose from can make a person feel bewildered, then anxious, and ultimately less satisfied after taking a purchase decision.

I think I know what Mr. Schwarz’s talkin’ about. Can you imagine if the first iPod’s commercials promised “A Trillion Songs In Your Pocket.” Man, I’d just tip over at the concept of a mathematical eternity burnin’ a hole in my pocket. I’d blow up.

Don’t get me wrong, I happen to love my e-reader (an iPad). But I don’t think the main promise of a Kindle or an iPad is a Brobdingnagian memory. Just gimme a digital L.L.Bean tote’s-worth. Just enough books to get me through the Labor Day weekend.

Futuristic Amazing versus Awesome : Self-Confidence In the Making

Did the unthinkable the other day and went shopping with my daughter.  A bunch of you will read that sentence and think to yourself, "that's all you need to say...we get it".  But I'm figuring to add insult to injury here, so I'll just keep on writing.

To me it was a lazy day...so comfy clothes, light makeup...you get the idea.  Memo was not received by daughter...to give you a hint of how she felt about how she looked, she looked at herself in the rearview mirror, "I'm so beautiful..I'll be the superstar, you be my guard."

I focus on the first part, and we talk about confidence and self-confidence on the way into the mall.  I mean, she did look good.  She had paired her black skinny jeans with a oversized suit jacket with a fedora...both in grey pinstripes.   Hightops and her red-striped hair completed her look.  As did her lil' hipster swagger as we moved around the mall.  I loved it.

As she received compliments from the various sales people--especially the guy at the Aveda makeup counter, I could see her shoulders pop back even more and her smile, typically beautiful and reticent, was both beautiful and right out there in front for once--self-confidence shining like the sun.

So, having time before the movie, we try on clothes (seriously, what the hell was I thinking) for me in a packed Nordstrom dressing room.  Not surprisingly, it turns out that she is not shy about sharing her point of view.  Loudly. 

"Mom", she drolls.  "That is so futuristic amazing, but you are not futuristic amazing...you are just awesome".  Okay.  Looking at it, she was right...the zippers at the shoulders, sides and hem, looked awesome, but not me...still wanted it though.  Sigh.

I move to the next piece.  I get it on and she is like, "That is awesome...and it hides your tummy."  Hmmmm.

Next.  "Oh god, Mom...that is so 48 minutes ago.  Even if we were here 48 minutes ago and you were trying it on it would still be so 48 minutes ago. You have got to just take it off."

At this point, all of the dressing rooms have laughter coming from them--and they are not even trying to hide it.

The next piece, a blue thing with ruffles, she just laughs and says, "Mom, you are not that shirt and it isn't you...it's sillysexy."

What is 'sillysexy' I ask?  "You know, when people try and dress like people who are much, much younger and littler....like __________".  Oh god.  I couldn't take it off fast enough while hoping ________ wasn't in the dressing room with us.

We find two pieces that she approves of and the thing is...she is right...about all of it.  As we gather our stuff to leave, she was like, "Mom, when you put on those two things you are buying you looked like you, but you didn't with the other stuff. How come?".  As I put on my shoes, I reminded her about the conversation we had earlier.  "Oh," she says.  "So confidence is trying new things like zipper clothes and escargot.  Self-confidence is having the guts to say no to things that aren't you, make you look sillysexy or that you don't like."

God.  Sometimes I just want to be her.  And I'm not the only one who thinks so...some lady down the dressing room yelled over the wall and asked if she could borrow her for the day.

Hah!  As if!

I'm not sure I'll venture out with daughter the next time, but I'll definitely remember her definition of confidence and self-confidence.  Even though I'll always want the shirt with zippers on it.